Parts-work (IFS) Workshop for Relationships

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Do you sometimes feel like you suddenly take on different personalities, and that they somehow get in the way your relationship? One day you might feel very close and loving, while on another you might feel cold and distant. You might sometimes be the nicest partner to get along with, and yet you suddenly have seemingly random outbursts of rage with the one you love most. This push and pull may slowly be eroding the trust and confidence in your relationship. You might know better, but for some reason it seems impossible to break this pattern and get out of the loop.

This is what parts-work aims to solve. Parts-work recognises that we are made of sub-personalities, also known as parts. These parts may be acting in opposing ways, pulling you in different directions, which often disrupts your life. They don't mean to do so, but this is how they learnt to protect you and keep you safe.



We all have different "parts” of our personality. They could be compared to the voices in our head, a common example being the inner critic which tries to keep you small. They could be younger parts, like the inner child or teenager, burdened with grief and shame. Or it could be a part that suddenly has uncontrollable emotional outbursts or rage, unknowingly sabotaging your relationships. Perhaps you might recognise some of them in yourself.

Often, these parts find themselves working against each other, because they have different agendas. For example, one part wants to get into a relationship, while another part is afraid of commitment. Or one part might want to quit a job and start your own business, while another is not ready to be an entrepreneur.

When these parts oppossse each other, they keep us stuck in a loop. But actually, each part is trying to help you and protect you in the way it knows how. Only, they might not realise that it's actually not working out for you in real life.

Within each of us, at the core of these parts, is the SELF. Pure awareness and compassion. The SELF is calm, compassionate and wise. The SELF cannot be harmed, corrupted or destroyed and it has abundant love. The SELF can listen to these parts and even heal them.

The benefits of doing parts-work is it can help you stop fighting with yourself when different parts are pulling in opposite directions. On a deeper level, it can even heal trauma and old childhood wounds at the root level, without getting overwhelmed or triggered. It heals shame with compassion instead of criticism or self-hatred.

People experience more calm, clarity, compassion and confidence. They feel more creative and playful, connected with themselves and others. It strengthens self-leadership, and the way to move through life feeling more grounded and calm.